Endless Entropy

Let's start with this blog I had posted in Japanese 5/25/07 to my mixi account.

First of all, how do you define endless entropy? Let me tell you. It's not like a little trouble you can live with. It's a disaster you encounter at some point of your life. It's your choice to overcome. If you chose to do so, it shall turns you in 180 degrees.

I guess nothing has the end until you actually make effort to get out of the situation. Honestly, I made a huge mess. It broke the heart of someone I care. Bad thing is that I left it. I know what I had done and how lazy I was to clean it up. Or probably I wasn't facing to what was going on.

By the time I faced it, the mess was the effect for everyone to turn somewhere around. A month had passed people had made effort to change. You may criticize it's good now. Wrong. It's just a posteriori reasoning. I still need to clean something up and most importantly, to appologize some of them.

But now I'm glad. I am no longer binded to fantasy. I no longer need to take a role of "replacement." I can sit down and regard my own future plans calm. I don't need to be twisted around somebody's little finger anymore.



I came to understand. It's I who eagered this endless entropy to write another chapter on my life story. I'm stuck but will get out someday.




Let me dedicate this blog with appriciation and appology to the lady who reminded me through eating sushi. Thank you!! You seriously helped turning my view. That's why now I live in reality.