Somewhere you have never known

Life is endangaered as soon as you lost your way. It someitme causes the end. That's why we have to struggle to make our living. But when you have to deal with something that you haven't struggled, you start to suspect your pathway.

My best friend - well, I at least think he is my best friend - used to go to same school. At some point with unchangeable reason, I moved to the US; he moved to the UK. Our life currently shares similarity and difference... But the difference we had gradually decreased in these years.

Now I am very suspicious about my life. Where I stand and where I will go. Tomorrow is never promised. Even though you struggle, you could be gotten yourself under by the absolute figure. I look at my friend. My best friend. Even it is hard way, he has been maintaining both his work and his academic life with joy. I know the hard way indicates incredible incidents; however, I have never achieved life well such as this.

I looked over my resume again. I have never had strong belief and desire like he does. Thus the future I struggle to achieve is fake. I just did some requirement. I have lacked honesty of purpose inside. That's why I never have used my fist to fight. It's probably my biggest lack ever.


I don't want anything suitable. I want something I want.

Alone again

I'm thinking to change my school primary because my parents are not in same state as my school and if I move, I can economicaly help them. This school by my parents actually have the major I used to eager really much to get in. Maybe I should try.

But if I leave there, whatever I had struggled to get through would really sounds like a fairlytale. At that time, I was way far away from my parents. I tried to do everything I can for maintainance... They will be gone after I move.


I will be far away from my friends too. This is a touch choice. Family or my ease. Of course, the answer is already there.

surprise

There are some ways to surprise people. The level of surprise differs too like poking your friend behind and MTV's Punk'd. Commonarity of these surprises is probably intended to be surprise. Not like "Opps, it just happened!"

Yea, "Opps." This kind of total innocent surprise could be totally THE best way to surprise people.



If you readers read my blogs carefuly enough, you can easily figure out that my body language isn't English. But if I could speak these word with very closed pronounciation with native one, it may sound that I can speak English naturaly. This sort of "surprise" is what I had done to English speakers back in my home country. You may talk crap about people around with different language so they don't understand. They talk you back with same language you used.

I always did it. I always surprised people. But today, I was the one who was surprised.

I drove several hours to go to Michigan City in Indiana for my family to shop. There is a huge outlet where people with different body language shop. I was at one of clothing shops and was trying to pick some polo for my dad. I then noticed a young white lady(sorry, but I'm not white). She looked like a normal but elegant American lady. She kept looking at me and smiling little bit. So I was checking her out. She approached me and spoke my body language with mostly perfect native accent.

My brain was blank. I couldn't respond quickly. I used to brainwash myself to talk to American people in English in public. It made perfect language barrier in my head at the conversation with her. It was so weird.




It's so amazing that I was surprised by how I always surprise people. I guess I have to watch my mouth from now on.

Get along again

After missing opportunity three times, I finally made it this time. I went to my friend's party last night. I woke up at 6 am, got out of my house in Ohio, and drove to Michigan. It took me 6 hours. Later, I went to my friend's. I didn't care how tired I was. I was very excited and stayed up until 4:30 am.

I guess things are meant to be equalized. But when it is about suffering, suffering part often takes more than ease in our life. So right after the party started and when I took walk with my friends to dinner, my friend found my ex with her husband on the other side of side walk. I told them I don't care, but I was actually disgusted seeing them.

Lately my friend keeps telling me they are around and reporting me what he saw. I did not have will to compare but they are doing same thing that I did with her according to what he says.



I'm not saying it is bad. But I always look out for better way to get closer and cuddle in relationship. It's like marthon. If you stop, you can rest, but you still got certain distance left to go or you quit developing.

Oh, not just critisizm, it is seriously annoying to see them or hear about them often after I had already moved on. I don't want to intersect with my past mistake anymore. I guess I need to work on development much more.

20 hours

I rented Honda Odessay from my dad's company and spent two days to make round trip from my dad's to my appartment. After I calculated them, I figured out that I had driven 20 hours.

It's long trip for me!!


As soon as I arrived there, I had to come back to get back my house on time. It sucked!! I couldn't see my frieneds there.

I promised my father that I will come back once in two weeks from my appartment after the semester had started. I think my new semester will be very interesting.